I thought I owe you an answer, one that I’ve been frantically searching for.
I’ve been believing that I owe myself one as well.
And then I realize, I have the answer. I had it.
I just didn’t address it because it’s not the answer that you would want to hear.
Not one that you would accept it easily.
And as time passed, guilt grew in me.
I even found an explanation for this mess, for us.
Till now I still want to explain myself.
But for what?
What do I owe you?
I realize I don’t owe you anything.
I don’t owe you an answer.
I don’t owe you an explanation.
The only person I owe anything,
I owe myself the reason to stop blaming myself,
I owe myself the reason to stop feeling guilty,
I owe myself the more reason to let go.