Sometimes, I Think I Deserved To Be Alone

I’m clueless,

of what I want.

Where I’m going.

I’m not playing any games,

Not on anyone, not on anything.

I just want to give me a chance,

Give you a chance, give us a chance.

But I’m so rational, too rational.

I analyze,

I microscope things,

I dissect problems,

And my feelings, layer by layer.

I have explanations for how I feel.

I like you,

Then I’m trying to like you even more,

And tried my best to fall for you.

You’re wonderful,

Gentle, patient.

You’re all I could ever want,

You’re it.

But why am I not feeling it.

Effort is what you’re giving,

And I should like what I’m seeing.

Unfortunately, I feel guilty

For not being able to do the same.

I’m feeling upset,

With myself,

In every single way.

We could be perfect,

You’re almost perfect.

But I’m not feeling anything

That I’m supposed to be feeling.

I’m very upset, with myself.

The person in my way is no one,

But me.

I’m my biggest challenge,

My biggest enemy.

It’s happening again.

History is repeating all by itself, again.

And no one should be more afraid of this,

Than myself.

Because,

Sometimes,

I think I deserved to be alone.

-Yen-